FIGHTING INFIDELITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Infidelity has been the root cause of the ruin and collapse of many happy marriages. It has not only destroyed vibrant houses but many individuals as well. Many couples never see it coming. While some hear it knocking, they open the door willingly or unconsciously not knowing who was knocking or what was on the other side. Husbands and wives should learn how to live and keep the promise pledged to each other. They must be willing to constantly struggle and persevere in love and continuously renew their desire to live in unity and affection between themselves. While we scream of infidelity, you should know that there are two types of infidelity.

Type 1: Infidelity of the heart: This is a worse danger in marriages, but it is usually given less attention. It starts of in a very gentle and quiet manner with a lack of communication between spouses. If this kind of infidelity is present in your marriage, you will feel a real attitude of coldness between you and your spouse. Your relationship with your spouse will be strained by lack of understanding. Affection or companionship will suddenly drown.

Type 2: Infidelity of the body: This is the most common known type among spouses, where one commits an extra marital affair or where one spouse breaks the promise pledged to the other. This is mostly the consequence of the prolonged absence of one spouse, probably by honest, professional reason or the premature or normal onset of old age on the part of either partner.

So how do you deal with infidelity? How do you overcome it? How do you avoid it? Many people would advice that you go for therapy or marriage counseling. Yes, this is good, but while this is good you should know that it does not really pierce through he heart. It only works on your emotions, by helping you fell good about yourself or your partner and your relationship, all hiding behind a smile. There is only one logical solution and eighty percent of marriage counselors advice it. The answer is to fight.

Step 1: Fight to overcome obstacles you are faced with. Always bear in mind that all marriages have their share of frictions and problems and it is in facing these problems, we learn to draw strength from our weaknesses and conquer. For it is a cowardly and disloyal act for a person, who when faced with difficulty begins to think of desertion.

Step 2: Fight to forgive. Forgive offences, heal whatever is wounded and try to rediscover the peace of reconciliation and pardon, taking the advice of st Paul the apostle, “do not let resentment lead you into sin, the sunset must not find you still angry.” (Eph 4: 26)

Step 3: Fight against tiredness, discouragement, misunderstanding, misinterpretation of actions, doubts and the trials of long life.

Step 4: Fight against silence: Try to talk to your spouse, be in constant communication, not to be a spy ware, but a living and caring partner. Talk about what bothers you and what does not. You could talk of the beautiful weather or a nice song or compliment your spouse effort on something done or achieved.

Step 5: Fight against dryness. Keep your marriage alive, by installing god activities. Taking time out with each other either going to movies, the opera or even visiting old relatives. Above all kill dryness by taking time out to pray with each other and pray for your marriage.

When you are the one who have violated your partner’s trust, here are some steps to help you win it back.

Step 1: Stop asking: Do not ask or expect your partner to do for you all the things they used to do. Don’t wait to be served. Do your chores yourself. Start denying yourself some privileges you once had.

Step 2: Start giving: Consistent deposits, could push your relationships into a surplus. Find ways to make your partner’s life easier. Be ready to serve and not to be served. It could be small courtesies, thoughtful deeds or little considerations, that serve and salve.

Step 3: Faith and focus: Start believing in God and in your marriage again. Focus on the good side of your spouse and paint a picture of how you would want your marriage to be. Then give your attention to it, holding it firmly in your mind. Your belief and focus will create for you this picture and give your mind’s attention to.

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IS YOUR MARRIAGE FALLING APART?

Do you feel your marriage is falling apart? Your once beloved partner suddenly changes. His or her attitude becomes overbearing. The hugs and kisses have slowly drowned and disappeared, communication is lost, you are like two strangers living together and each day, you seem drawn away from each other even more. Sometimes the trouble originates from the husband when he begins to keep late nights, arriving home late from work. This could be because of the nature of his job or because he has lost the thrill of seeing his children before they go off to bed or he feels his only duty to his family is to provide for their financial needs and spend time with them only on Sundays. The fault could also come from the wife, she receives him coldly from work, she does nothing to draw closer to her husband and even worse her appearance repels him from her. Some years ago, the Gallup Poll in the United States conducted a survey of most common complaints husbands give about their wives. The results showed that husbands more often complain that:

1 Their wives are always nagging and bickering.

2- Their wives are very spend thrift.

3- Their wives are careless about their appearance.

4- their wives never have a word of encouragement or praise for them.

5- Their wives neglect the care of the children.

6- Their wives neglect the care of the home.

7Their wives go out too often on useless errands or spend a lot of wasted time with their friends when they should be attending to domestic matters.

8- Their wives are always slow and late in getting themselves ready when they have to go out together.

9- Their wives meddle too much in other peoples affairs.

10- Their wives give little or no attention to their appearance.

11- Their wives are too bossy.

The same Gallup Poll also carried a list of frequent complaints wives make against their husbands. The results were that:

1- Their husbands don’t show concern or interest in education or in domestic problems, they act as though they were petty concerns of the wife.

2- Their husbands are too absorbed in professional work and forget the joys of family life. They have no time for family excursions or even going to see a movie.

3- Their husband are very egoistic and act like kings when they are healthy and expected to be pampered like babies when they fall sick.

4- Their husbands are very tight fisted when it comes to spending for the family but very indulgent about their own needs.

5- Their husbands show lesser interest in their wives as she grows older. This especially hurts when they see how courteously he deals with younger women.

6- Their meeting and social engagements last till late in the night and this makes the wife feel lonely, abandoned and unfairly treated.

7- Their husbands go out too often without their wives.

8- Their husbands are too bossy and domineering.

Spouses have to take care of their love life as a good gardener does to his roses. The gardener keeps them in perfect condition always. He takes his time to fertilize the soil, prune the branches and apply a cure to the diseased part. He spares no effort to make sure the plants are well kept. The gardener’s power of belief in his roses and focus on his job gives him success. Spouses should learn to do likewise for their marriage, to develop the same power and utilize it. The power of belief and focus enables you to turnaround any situation in your life, diligently dealing with it and attracting the right solutions to combat the situation and bring about a lasting change.

HOW TO OVERCOME THE STRESS OF A STAY AT HOME MOM

Martha is a housewife and a stay at home mom. This lady of the house was in trouble, life was suddenly in shambles one night. Her little kids were running toy cars across the kitchen floor and quarrelling over who had the right of way. There was a cat between her feet purring and rubbing against her ankles. There was a puppy, jumping and devouring her stockings and demanding his cup of milk. What could she do? She still had to peel the potatoes and fix dinner, straighten out the kids, feed the puppy and get the cat off her ankles, lest she should trip and break her neck. It was time to put into practice, all her knowledge, devotion and religion. She did. So they had their meal and they had a joyful grace, a lively conversation and a good laughter to go with it. The puppy was fed, the cat was quiet and the boys were put to bed. Martha knew God was with her and He knew and cared for her. This was her belief.

Martha’s story best describes the situation many stay at home moms find themselves in today. A rather complicated position, especially if you once had a career which you gave up. You would sit and look back at what you left behind, it becomes awful and painful because you can’t go back and you can’t abandon your present situation to go front in pursuit of another career, so you are stuck in between. This awfully frustrating situation, should never get the best of you. As being a stay at home mom is really interesting , you could easily accomplish your household chores in no time and still have enough time for yourself, But how do you arrive at this? How do you deal with the early morning rising and overcome the tension through the day? How do you accomplish your chores for each day and still put up with the stress of dinner with kids running around and pets at your feet? How do you overcome the daily turbulence of being a housewife and be the super mom?

Here are six simple steps you can follow.
Step 1: Form the habit of getting down to business at once.

Step 2: Form the habit of doing the hard unpleasant jobs first.

Step 3: Remain calm and quiet especially within, because power comes from a quiet
mind.

Step 4: Keep well rested

Step 5: Learn to focus

Step 6: Believe in yourself

Practicing and following these six steps will help you overcome and pass through any turbulence successfully. Now when you put into practice these six steps, pay close attention to steps five and six. These two are important concepts to achieving maximum success especially as a stay at home mom and overcoming household stress. Like Martha, you need to put into practice the power of belief and focus. Hold a firm belief that you are not alone and that God is with you and He that put the universe in order is there helping you put your situation together. Hold your belief and focus strongly on it. You will attract to yourself whatever you give your focus, attention and energy to. This is the power of belief and focus and it is the basic law of attraction that has achieved maximum results even in the worst situations.

HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS FOR YOUR CHILD AND HELP HIM ACHIEVE HIS TOO.

One of the most common challenges we face as parents is not watching our children grow but helping them fulfill their dreams or living out the dreams we have for them. As a parent you will surely have plans for your kids, you want to give them the best, you want them to live a better life than you did or even achieve more than you did. You will surely want them to have the best of the best, but from childhood to adolescence or from adolescence to adulthood you encounter some hiccups along the way in doing this and this could spoil the perfect plan you once had for your kid or ruin his dreams. Sometimes these obstacles could be caused by peer pressure, youthful exuberance or excessive stubbornness. It could also be caused by trauma loss or even hatred. So how do you deal with it? How do you help get your kid back on track? How do you help him refocus? How do you help him overcome this situation and make him understand the path he is heading. As a parent, you have seen it all, you have passed through this stage or you may even have friends who may have gone through the same things and you know where that road leads to. How do you help your child become what you what him to be. Here are five steps to help you arrive at it no matter how bad the situation maybe.

Step 1: Change you thoughts towards you kid.

Step 2: Change your attitude towards you kid and start acting with open hands of acceptance.

Step 3: Change you beliefs about your kid

Step 4: Focus on what you want to see in your kid and how you want him to be.

Step 5: Open your heart towards him.

Now when you put into practice these five steps, pay close attention to your thoughts, beliefs and focus. Why? This is because your subconscious mind is only going to create your reality based on your beliefs or faith. It doesn’t care if your faith or belief about that person or in the person is good or bad. It only acts on your instructions and your instructions come from your thoughts and beliefs. Another important concept to understanding how these five steps could help you is focus. Following the law of attraction, you attract to yourself whatever you give your focus, attention or energy to. This has been proved right in a million cases. So to achieve maximum results, change your thoughts, increase you faith or beliefs and strengthen your focus. Apply these principles strongly, especially in prayers and in no time you will see changes in your kid you never thought were possible.